Listening to our inner critic

Listening to our inner critic Michael is a bright and sensitive man in his 30s. He is the youngest of four siblings and grew up in what, from the outside, seemed like a happy and stable home. In many ways it was indeed happy, but Michael always felt like an after-thought to his parents. He […]

Navigating the Relationship Journey

Navigating the Relationship Journey Just to state the obvious, relationships are not easy. While we are “wired” to be in relationships and they can be a source of connection, fulfillment, and growth, they are often times filled with challenges and difficulties. I want to share a few things I have observed through my work as […]

Santiago Delboy Psychotherapy

Trauma is an Experience, Not an Event

Trauma is an Experience, Not an Event It seems like “trauma” has become one of those household terms everyone talks about. I took a look at the number of average monthly Google searches for “trauma” in the U.S., and found that it has grown 22% in only one year. As with other terms that became mainstream (for instance “addiction” or “narcissism”), […]

Santiago Delboy Psychotherapy

Addiction, Relationships, and Attachment

Addiction, Relationships, and Attachment A friend of mine sent me an article a few days ago about the origins of addiction. The author cites research suggesting that addiction is not so much defined by changes in the brain, but is an attempt to adapt to our social environment. He concludes that “the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. […]

Santiago Delboy Psychotherapy

Relationship Endings and Behavioral Economics

Relationship Endings and Behavioral Economics A long time ago I became interested in the intersection of economics and psychology. A few years later, I was delighted to hear that the 2002 Nobel Prize of Economics was awarded to a psychologist, Daniel Kahneman. He is one of the founders of Behavioral Economics, which studies the ways consumers make […]

Santiago Delboy Psychotherapy

Addictions: Attachment, 12-steps, and Group Therapy

Addictions: Attachment, 12-steps, and Group Therapy Below is a chapter I wrote for a book published in 2016, comprised of papers presented at a symposium of the International Association of Social Work with Groups. In this chapter I explain how addiction can be understood as an attachment disorder, and discuss the differences, similarities, and complementarity of […]

Santiago Delboy Psychotherapy

Infidelity as a growth opportunity

Infidelity as a growth opportunity I watched a TED talk by therapist and author Esther Perel this afternoon about infidelity. I read her book “Mating in Captivity” some time ago, and since then I have paid attention to what she has to say. This TED talk felt like a constant stream of provocative and insightful ideas: we tend […]